Alone

"Language...has created the word 'loneliness' to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word 'solitude' to express the glory of being alone." Paul Tillich

I came across this quote quite by accident but it fits my mood today. Most days, I crave alone time because I desire solitude. I love silence, and having a chance to turn things over in my mind. More than that, I actually need time alone. I've burned out for a lack of solitude on one too many occasions.

Today is different though. Today, the sweetness of solitude has been replaced by a deep and unsettling sense of loneliness. Today, I am deeply aware that I will spend my evening in an empty apartment, cooking dinner for only myself. That all the decisions I face about everything- my health, school, work, family, I face on my own. Today I fear what I face tomorrow. Today my aloneness feels overwhelming.