I moved last week. I promise to put up a picture or two of the amazing house I now live in, but for now, I am going to share a few realizations I have come to in the transition process.
This whole moving thing really poked my perfection complex in a good, though somewhat painful way. As someone who is constantly assuming I can do everything for myself, I was stunned to be in a position where I really desperately needed other people to make things work. Though my breathing is tons better, I still have little to no stamina. So carrying all my boxes, heavy lifting, and a ton of cleaning were totally out. But I still needed all those things to happen.
Enter all the amazing people in my life. Seriously. I have never, ever felt more loved than I felt last Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. It was incredible, really.
But here's a little secret. And, I guess, what makes me feel even more loved. I wasn't finished packing. Seriously, not even close. Nor did I have any plan for getting all the stuff I had (how on earth did ALL that stuff fit in my tiny little apartment?!) from point A to point B. I was so far from organized it wasn't funny. And you know what people said to me? "Its okay, we'll help."
My organized, in control, take charge facade had crumbed beneath the weight of the task and the emotions overwhelming me. No one walked away in disgust or became angry with me. Every box got packed, every item moved, and every critical decision was made. At one point, I put a friend in charge of assigning jobs to people so it was a few less decisions I had to make. It was the first time in my life I had ever really delegated...and the world did not end!
I am still working on unpacking (I've decided the unpacking is worse than the moving). And this weekend I am having my friend J's family over for dinner. I seriously thought about pushing everything aside and working non-stop on unpacking so my house would be in order on Sunday when they came. But then I had an aha moment and realized how stupid that sounded. And how stressful it would be to try and accomplish.
I am going to unpack some over the next couple of days. I will attempt to at least organize the unpacking chaos, but there will be unpacked boxes in my house on Sunday...probably quite a few. And I've decided that's okay. I think my guests are coming to hang out and have dinner...not admire my ability to be superwoman and unpack my ridiculous number of possessions in a week. ;)
In the words of a song I listened to alot as a teenager (and just now have come to believe):
"But I'm not perfect, not put together/And sometimes I'm lonely, But it's only real life/Here I stand cast your stones, If you mock me/I know that it's only,that you're scared of real life." Church of Rhythm
I'm going to be me. Its going to be messy. And that's okay.
No comments:
Post a Comment