Shouldn't this be hard?

So I am well into Lent at this point, having now survived several weeks without television and movies. To be honest, now that the initial "wait, I can't turn on my tv" has passed, I am surprised at how relaxing its been to be without them both. I'm actually getting more homework done, spending quality time with people (engaging them in conversation as opposed to zoning out to a movie in the same space), and reading more. I feel like I am waiting for that bumpy space when I become completely and totally miserable because I gave something up for Lent...and yet, its not there.

I don't want to pretend like Lent hasn't been a bit of a rough patch for me- God is bringing out things in my life I had left long buried and exposing them to the light. My picture of myself and my picture of God are both sadly distorted in some areas, and gently, He's been correcting that. I am going through a process of refinement and recommitment to my relationship with God. That process, in case your wondering, has been completely gut wrenching at times, and I've probably cried more in the past month than I have in a long time.

Slowly, I am casting aside the notion that life has to be difficult in order to be really lived. Where exactly does that idea capture the joy, peace, and hope of the Gospel? How then, does it line up with Jesus' promise that His, "...yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light" (Matthew 11:28)? Um, it doesn't.

This journey has been worth it. Yes, I have cried, and had to rethink some things. But in the midst of the hard stuff, there have been moments of deep joy, utter contentment, and amazing freedom. In setting aside something temporarily and being willing to engage God, I feel like I've gained far more than I've lost. And I can't wait for Easter. To celebrate, really and truly joyfully celebrate, the resurrection.