On Community

The other night, in a moment of exhausted irritation and self indulgent rage, I shot off a passionate, but incredibly verbose ranting email to a dear friend. What caused such ire and sheer volume of language? The ever so popular, evangelical Christian phrase, "doing life together".

In my frustration, I wrote: "Christians should be banned from using the phrase, 'doing life together'. At least 95%of people who use that phrase see each other once during the week and on Sundays. And they Instagram each other. Or post on Facebook...and we all know Facebook isn't real life.

I want to say to them: "You know what it actually means to do life together? Being there, often. Conflict, which feels messy. Holding puking heads over the toilet and occasional ER visits. A lot of laughing. Silly conversations that mean laughing...and that sometimes lead to conflict. Vulnerability. Letting others see the messy bits of life- the dishes in the sink, laundry piled in the corner, mascara streaming down the face with tears, the "I hurt like heck and I can't articulate why but I need you to sit here and shut up until I can" moments, the "you can come over for dinner but I'm totally having cereal" offers, the days in which God seems angry and distant and trite answers feel like a band aid and you realize the person you love has their artery severed and a trite band aid isn't going to cut it. It's hard conversations and trips to the grocery store and coffee. Doing life together means you may have literally seen their dirty laundry.

And you love them. Because they are who they are. Because you are with them on this crazy journey. Because they helped you see that you're way more normal than you thought...or that other people are just as crazy. Actually doing life together means other people look on and see love. They see God having broken through in the selfishness and pain and cracks and bleeding and falsehood in this world to display something real. That is doing life together. And it's a much bigger commitment than a Bible Study from 7-9 every wed. But So much better too."

Community, real community, the beautiful kind of community, is where you can really truly come as you are. And it happens in the moments when you look at each other and say, "yeah, I want to walk with you" even knowing that that is going to be hard. It is messy, and there is conflict, and sometimes it's not convenient. It requires a commitment. But it is worth it. Every single time, it is worth it.

People are looking for something real. And we show off our real faith while living out shallow relationships. In Acts 2, when people were being saved daily, I don't think it had anything to do with the worship band at the Temple, or because life groups are a good church model. People saw the Spirit of God present in the community of faith- they saw people who met together everyday in the Temple courts, people who ate together and who reveled in one another's company, people who were sacrificing to meet one another's needs, people who were willing to be real, and they responded. They saw love.

The picture of community that I drew is one I have experienced. And it changed me.