Hope

There are moments that challenge us. For me, right now it’s dealing with personal issues on several fronts, working, going to school, and having to process the news that one of my favorite professors, Dr. Paul Siu, passed away suddenly over the weekend. Learning of Dr. Siu’s passing seemed like the final blow.

For those of you outside of the Alliance Theological Seminary community reading this, let me introduce you to Dr. Siu for a moment. He was the seminary’s resident theologian, but far from being a stuffy academic, he was one of the most loving, caring people I have ever met. A deep love of Jesus radiated in and through his life. It spilled out in the classroom as he would weep when talking about atonement, as he would boldly proclaim the message of salvation again and again, as he would pray for members of the class and weep with those who were hurting, as he would stop people in the hall just to see how they were doing.

I met Dr. Siu five years ago in August of 2005. He was my advisor, and in addition to the usual academic questions, I also remember a friendly barrage of pastoral questions as we met that afternoon. Eventually, I switched programs, and advisors, but Dr. Siu continued to follow my progress. My office used to be housed the seminary building, and I’ll never forget one afternoon when he stopped in to see me. He wanted to check on me, and he made it a point to remind me that day how proud he was of me- that I was still in seminary, and that I was doing so well. Dr. Siu was one of favorite cheerleaders and he is one of the ones who helped convince me to stay in seminary when I was ready to pack it in and head back to Maryland after having done so poorly my first year. Just last week I had decided to ask for his assistance in preparing for my doctorate after seminary. I am planning on studying theology, and I was excited to talk through my plans with him.

I don’t understand why things are as they are. Why so many situations in my life have gone haywire all at once in ways that devastate me. Why a beloved professor passed from this life to the next so very suddenly. But the Lord, in His gentleness and His kindness whispered this in my ear this morning, and so I share it with you, “But now, this is what the Lord says- he who created you, Jacob; he who formed you, Israel: ‘Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” Isaiah 43:1-2

I am the Lord’s, and in Him, and Him alone does my hope rest. I will not understand some of the things that occur in this life, but I have to believe in a God who is bigger and greater and in control. He’s all I have. This God who has called me by name, this salvation that He brings, this love He fills us with. When I have nothing, I still have hope in the God of the Universe. Dr. Paul Siu’s God whom he loved so passionately and served so humbly. And so I, like the Israelites before me who heard the proclamation of Isaiah will not fear. Instead I will hope.